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[13 Apr 2004|12:59pm]
56 comments|post comment

[12 Apr 2004|03:43pm]
Hey guyz! I got AIM! Here's my screen name: "I make icons OMG"

hope to talk to you all soon! LOLZ!
8 comments|post comment

[12 Apr 2004|03:26pm]
[ mood | pregnant ]

I'm pregnant with my brother's child

this is so exciting.

6 comments|post comment

[11 Apr 2004|09:10pm]
I made this icon myself. What do you guys think?
244 comments|post comment

[06 Apr 2004|07:34pm]
Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Never taken out of the packaging
It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive 57.9%
A fool for love, but not always
Knows the other body type like a map
Gayness 5.4%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
Fucking Sick46%
Don't look in the basement
You are 43.73% pure
Average Score: 72.7%
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[06 Apr 2004|05:42pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

my brother raped me again last night

I'm such a horrible person

29 comments|post comment

More poetry [03 Apr 2004|07:41pm]
[ mood | horrible ]

I wish Jared would know what the hell he's doing to me.

It happened again today.

God, it hurts so much...

I can't even describe it. I don't want to. I feel like I've already said too much. I've kept it inside for six years; now talking about things makes me feel really weird and uncomfortable.

This will never end.

I wrote another poem...

When you...

With your every touch
With your every breath
You always make me sick
You always make me guess

You think I really like you
You think we're doing fine
But when I say I love you
I'm really lying

When you leave
I'm laughing inside
You couldn't even count
How many times I've cried

My tears are like a river
I'm drowning in my blood
Sometimes when it's raining out
I'm causing up a flood

I hate you Jared,
with all my fucking soul
You've broken me, destroyed me
I hope you reached your goal.

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I can't escape reality, but in my dreams... [02 Apr 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | weird ]

It feels so weird having a new journal, a fresh start. This is what, half an hour old? I'm so glad. I can finally start over, maybe not in life, but I no longer have to look through painful recollections of my past.

The memories will last, but I'm glad I have a clean tablet.

I know I said I'd go to bed, but I can't.

I wish I could escape reality and enter the world of my dreams, but ever since my Psychologist put me on Zoloft ( I told her nothing about Jared ), I've been staying up. Insomnia is not supposed to be a side effect, so I'm a bit worried.

Maybe I'm just scared of the effects these drugs will have on me.

I'm going to lie back down, for a while, at least. If sleep does not come again, I will return and post some more of my poetry.

Thank you, good night.

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Tears of a broken child [02 Apr 2004|09:48pm]
[ mood | dead ]

Oh why do you torture me so
How can you not know
That what you do to me
Kills me silently

The darkness in your heart
Overwhelms me
You say that you are leaving
So slowly

Why do you treat me
Like a China doll
I want you to know
That your heart is so small

I wish you act like
I can think for myself
For I feel such pain
My heart is slain

Okay I'm really going to bed now. I just wanted to share my poetry with all of you kind people before I sleep and lie in my happy dreams, the only world where I can be content with my mind and my body.

Thank you so much for listening.

I wish more people around me would.

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Hello [02 Apr 2004|09:44pm]
Hello, my name is Autumn.

I'm 14 years old, and going through a hard time in my life. I'm having difficulties with my brother Jared...I don't want to get into it in a public entry. I have felt so much sorrow in my life, and I'm having trouble shaking this weight from my shoulders.

I am so dirty. I'm stained. I'm ruined. I'm broken! I hate feeling like this. I want my life back.

I would say more, but, I really need to get some sleep. I've had a hard day.
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